Sometimes, as an author, I get to find music that really speaks to me. Sometimes it's the aesthetic of a particular scene, a theme for the overall story, but a lot of the time it's something that closely speaks the mind of a character. Right now I'm working on The Blue Siren, a kind of retelling of Blue Beard that is through the eyes of his female counterpart (my own invention so don't be confused): the Blue Siren who––instead of killing her husbands when they've looked into her secret room full of dead bodies––hunts the Blue Beards that kill their wives that do. This one has been a psychological process. A chance to explore the dark voice in my mind (yes, if I must be labeled as a masochist or sadist, I'd be a sadist) and recognize how tragic it is to suffer from a kind of illness that is the Blue Siren (the equivalent of a sociopath, sadist, narcissist, and psychopath). What is supposed to be a saving grace for a fallen Beauty (Beauty and the Beast) is ultimately the road to complete insanity, and if her Beast abandons her completely there's no way to save her. The premise of this curse is that a Beauty from Beauty and the Beast is rejected by her Beast. Instead of accepting her love and taking her away to live happily ever after, he runs away for whatever reason. Sometimes it's just a sad ending for the girl, but for some––for those who have a seed of darkness in them––it becomes the road to a new tale. A tale that very well may destroy the pureness of Beauty's heart. If you've been following the Tales of Evermagic series, then you've probably read The Monster & The Beast, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast in which there are two relivings going on at the same time. The one that matters for The Blue Siren is that of Serren and Ber's side. There have been a lot of reviews complaining about the lack of closure between these two, but I promise. It's not over. Though, I'd like to argue that there can't always be happy ever after, and to be honest––I love tragedies. I love writing things that are painful and beautiful and not your super sugar sweet stuff that makes you feel all good on the inside all the way through. This is the first time I'm taking a big risk (in the world of Evermagic) in writing something so dark and gruesome, but I've always felt that for Ber and Serren, this was a necessary part of their story. Instead of being a simple fairy tale we're used to, this becomes a chance for them to be something so much more than a feel good couple. These two are a pair that I've been able to see grow from the early stages of love blossom to a couple going through real struggles fighting to maintain that love. Fighting to save each other from something so much more benevolent than a simple alteration of appearance. It's not just about being able to fall in love with someone despite their appearance anymore, it's about continuing to love each other through everything hard that comes after the initial bliss of a young relationship. Hard things that seem to be impossible to overcome, things they're sometimes not sure are worth facing. There was a reason I didn't give Serren and Ber an immediate happy ending, and that reason is The Blue Siren. SPOILER Ber doesn't change back into his human form when the curse is broken on his sister and his home and so abandons Serren, not wanting to force her to be with a monster for the rest of her life. Serren, as you learn throughout the book The Monster & The Beast, has this darkness inside of her. This ill feeling she can project to scare people away but has to be careful about using because it has made her do terrible things when she has lost control to it. The Blue Siren is born from this darkness when Ber leaves, released by Serren's sorrow and feelings of abandonment. Ber's simple rejection, his attempt at saving her, becomes warped into a harsh, cruel, and hateful betrayal that drives her mad. And so the Siren takes over, cradling Serren into darkness so she doesn't have to feel the pain of his loss any more. But his voice, saying words he never said, keeps echoing in her mind, and the only way to shut it up is by killing Blue Beards––men who choose to let the fairy tale magic turn them into monsters. And so Serren, Ber's Beauty, becomes a monster to kill monsters so as to shut up the voice in her head. His voice. Saying terrible things he never said. AND SO Here we have "Dead To Me" by Melanie Martinez, which seems to speak loudly of the feelings the Blue Siren has as she learns what kind of beast she's really become.
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